The Power of Storytelling: Rewrite Your Narrative, Redefine Your Success

One moment, I was making it down the slope, heart racing as I heard my daughter yell, "You go, Mom!" The next, I was sitting in the ski patrol area nursing an aching wrist and a hefty dose of regret.

I’ll admit—I was hesitant to strap both ankles to one board. My old Army injury made me cautious. I didn’t want to risk aggravating my knee or ankle. But my daughter’s excitement pulled me in, so I did it.

We signed up for everything—lift tickets, lessons, rentals—the whole deal. After 45 minutes, I was on my way to the emergency room, where I spent the next four hours nursing my injury. I wish I could say it was a dramatic wipeout—but I was still on the baby hill. In fact, I was still in my first lesson!

As I sat in the emergency room, the story running through my mind was: I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I wasted money, spent more time in the hospital than on the mountain. Now, I’ll walk away with nothing but a bruised ego and a painful wrist. Bad idea.

When I noticed I was hosting a full-blown pity party in my head, I shook myself out of it and decided to tell a different story (which I had to rehearse more than I’d like to admit). It sounded more like: "OK, Traci, you faced your fear, shared an amazing experience with your daughter, and boy, am I grateful all I did was sprain my wrist."

The ability to change our stories is a meta-skill. The way we choose to tell our stories says more about our mindset than what actually happened. And that choice? It’s at the very heart of self-leadership.

The Link Between Healthy Habits and Self-Leadership

When I first started coaching, I primarily worked with busy executives who wanted to stay successful while improving their physical health. They aimed to lose body fat, increase stamina, and enhance their performance as "corporate athletes."

They worked long hours and knew that being healthier would support their success and longevity—not to mention improve their quality of life.

At first, the most important aspect was designing customized fitness and nutrition protocols that fit into their schedules and lifestyles and would produce results as efficiently and effectively as possible. And yes, customizing that protocol is absolutely essential.

But I quickly learned it wasn’t just about taking the right physical actions. If you want a healthy habit to become a long-term habit, it’s critical to align physical activity with the right mindset and emotional energy.

When we combined mental, emotional, and physical practices, something powerful happened: they didn’t just follow healthy habits—they became healthy people. When you are a healthy leader, it’s no longer about forcing yourself to "do the thing." You do the thing naturally because that is who you are.

The practice of personal health is the practice of self-leadership. When you strengthen your discipline around your health, you strengthen your leadership muscles, too.

In The Healthy Leader Operating System™, we define self-leadership as:
"The practice of intentionally directing your thoughts, emotions, and actions toward a specific desired result."

When you train your mind and emotions alongside your physical actions, you develop strategic leadership skills like focus, resilience, discipline, ownership, integrity, and self-motivation—the very traits McKinsey Global Institute identifies as essential for the future of work.

The Importance of Self-Leadership in the Future of Work

Taking care of your health isn’t just about supporting your longevity or improving your quality of life—it’s also a career advantage. When you prioritize healthy habits, you’re not only building physical resilience but also the mental and emotional resilience that supports your upward professional path.

McKinsey’s research supports this connection. They identified 56 key skills—called DELTAs—that help employees thrive in the future of work. These DELTAs are divided into four categories: cognitive, interpersonal, self-leadership, and digital.

It’s no surprise that digital fluency is a priority, but self-leadership is just as vital. In fact, three of the four categories—cognitive, interpersonal, and self-leadership—are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves, whether we share them out loud or not.

The narrative you choose exposes your mindset and your emotional intelligence. It determines whether you stay stuck or continue to climb, and that climb often starts with small habits that build focus, adaptability, and self-discipline.

Choosing healthy habits isn’t just about doing what's good for your body—it’s about equipping yourself with the mindset to navigate challenges, build stronger relationships, and pursue meaningful opportunities.

Good Leaders Listen for the Story Beneath the Story

Leaders who understand storytelling dynamics understand how vital (and revealing) stories are. Good leaders don’t just hear complaints and offer sympathy or defensiveness—they listen for the story beneath the frustration. They understand that how a story is told influences emotions, reactions, and outcomes.

For example, a manager might hear a team member say:

• “We’ve tried this before, and it didn’t work.”
• “Leadership doesn’t support new ideas.”
• “We don’t have the resources to pull this off.”

The initial instinct might be to react defensively: "I don’t think that’s fair—if you knew how hard leadership was working behind the scenes, you wouldn’t be complaining."

Or to commiserate: "Yeah, I get it. It does feel like we’re stuck in the same cycle. Honestly, it’s exhausting, and I don’t see things changing anytime soon either."

In the first case, the leader’s defensiveness shuts down the conversation, making the team feel unheard. In the second, the leader amplifies the frustration, reinforcing a sense of hopelessness and signaling that there’s no path forward.

A leader who listens to the story under the story knows how to use narratives to guide their team toward connection, clarity, and motivation. Instead of reacting defensively or commiserating, they recognize the power of reframing:

"I hear you—there’s history here, and I get why this feels like more of the same. But what’s something small we can do differently this time? How can we shape this in a way that works for us?"

This approach doesn’t dismiss valid concerns—it shifts the focus from resignation to action, demonstrating that their story—and their future—can be rewritten.

How to Rewrite Your Stories for Self-Leadership

We all tell stories—about our experiences, our workplaces, our goals, and our setbacks. But how do you know if your story is moving you forward or holding you back?

1. Ask Yourself: Why Am I Telling This Story?

When I tell my snowboarding story and show the massive bruise on my arm, am I looking for sympathy? An "ooh" or an "ahh"? Am I telling it to entertain, to inform, or to connect?

There’s nothing wrong with telling stories to connect, vent, or make someone laugh. But being aware of why you’re telling a story can help you spot patterns. Are you creating connection and clarity or reinforcing a narrative that keeps you stuck?

2. Does This Story Move Me Forward or Hold Me Back?

Ask yourself: Is this story creating connection, clarity, or healing? Or is it keeping me stuck in my comfort zone, where it’s easier to complain and push off the hard work?

3. Decide How Your Best Self Would Tell the Story

How would your best, most strategic self reframe the narrative? Instead of, “I can’t believe this is happening,” try, “What can I learn or control here?”

The Power of Self-Leadership in Everyday Habits

Small, consistent routines around taking care of your mind and body don’t just get results—they build self-leadership muscles.

When someone commits to routines like:

• Getting to the gym consistently.
• Staying disciplined about fueling their body well.
• Shutting down work to be fully present with loved ones.
• Making eye contact and fully engaging in conversations.

They’re not just checking off boxes—they’re building:

• Focus and discipline.
• Emotional control and resilience.
• Critical thinking and adaptability.

Conclusion: The Story You Tell Today

Whether you’re standing at the top of a snowy slope, handling a challenging project at work, or navigating a difficult conversation, the stories you tell yourself will shape how you show up.

Your story could be one of frustration and regret—or one of resilience and growth. The good news is that you get to choose.

What story are you telling yourself today? And what new path might open if you decide to rewrite it?

And remember—while choosing the right path matters, sometimes the real win is getting back up when you fall (preferably off the baby hill).

 Create a healthy day!

~traci